Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Dear god my vagina.
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