Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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