what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
