we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
