bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
