Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
