One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize