can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
