When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
