I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.