found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
