just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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