Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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