East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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