Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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