And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
