Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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