Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
