i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
