You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
