I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Randomize