absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
