Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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