I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
