it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
