If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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