you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
