First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
porn star boner night. come get it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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