I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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