I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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