Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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