She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
