Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
