Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
