Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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