the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
