So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He felt like a one man threesome
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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