i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
