Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
