from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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