Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
there was a trapeze. enough said
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
