my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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