4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
