He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
