Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize