Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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