seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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