Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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