These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
