never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize