You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
