My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
