So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
