So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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