Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
