How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I skipped work to stalk him.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
