I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
