If i come over, it means nothing
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
