standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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