i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
