I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head