The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"