Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
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Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
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I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.